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<title>When You’re “Evil” by NotSoMetalKnightmare</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22855354">When You’re “Evil”</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotSoMetalKnightmare/pseuds/NotSoMetalKnightmare'>NotSoMetalKnightmare</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Hat in Time (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Song fic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 18:35:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,212</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22855354</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotSoMetalKnightmare/pseuds/NotSoMetalKnightmare</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Snatcher sings.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>67</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>When You’re “Evil”</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The atmosphere was always at least a little bit eerie whenever she ventured into Subcon Forest. That’s how it always was.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hat Kid didn’t mind - it was like watching a scary movie! There was a slightly invigorating air to it all, today doubly so for some reason.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The usual feel of the forest was upped somewhat, reminding her even more of horror movies. The shadows seemed starker, and the glowing lights brighter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She giggled as her heart raced in anticipation. Usually this semi-dangerous air appeared when Snatcher had a new contract - whether for her, or another victim.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So basically, his “pranking” mood.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Would he have anything for her today, or was he busy teasing someone else she wondered?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Well! Only one way to find out!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hat Kid skipped down the spooky forest path, waving hello to the Dwellers that flitted between the trees alongside her. Their glowing forms added to the unnerving feeling of the forest that she loved.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eventually her feet took her to village, which was a bit more empty than it usually was. Not unusual, if Snatcher was using his minions at the moment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There was still some minions around, but much less Dwellers, for some reason. Usually the uncontracted spirits didn’t flock after Snatcher, so perhaps their attention had been captured by something else again?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Then she heard it - faint on the wind, the sound of a violin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <a href="https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QxJrjV4PNXA">X</a>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was an eerie, long held note that wavered like an injured songbird.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hat Kid didn’t need her hat to tell he where it was coming from. She walked confidently through the village, even as the violin hit a rising shriek.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’d heard it before, and knew it’s owner well.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As she stopped in front of Snatcher’s tree she heard his voice ring out;</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“When the devil is too busy... and death’s a bit too much...”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A rather large crowd of Subconites were gathered around his house, listening to him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“They call on me by name you see, for my special touch.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As always, his violin sounded sad yet energetic in his hands, and his voice was loud and carrying.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“To the gentleman, I’m misfortune... To the ladies, I’m surprise...”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Dwellers, normally somewhat catty in his presence, now nodded along to his song.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But call me by any name, any way it’s all the same!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Snatcher’s closed eyes narrowed mischievously as the note hit its peak.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m the fly in your soup! I’m the pebble in your shoe! I’m the pea beneath your bed! I’m a bump on every head!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hat Kid watched as he spun around, everyone present entranced by his performance - himself included.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m the peel on which you slip! I’m a pin in every hip! I’m the thorn in your side! Makes you wriggle and writhe!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>True to his spiteful nature, he wore a wide smile as he belted out the lyrics.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And it’s so easy when you’re evil! This is the life you see! The devil tips his hat to me!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His grin became infectious to his audience, which had begun to clap along.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I do it all because I’m evil! And I do it all for free!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hat Kid stuck her tongue out. That part clearly wasn’t true!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Your tears are all the pay I’ll ever need!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Well, that part maybe...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The violin shrieked abruptly, but quickly returned to its devilish rhythm.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Snatcher had finally noticed the crowd he’d drawn in.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>While a couple of the Dwellers fled, Hat Kid stared, a unabashed smile on her face. Snatcher cackled and sung his next line;</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“While there’s children to make sad!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He pulled a childish face at her as he said that, making her clap her hands over her mouth to prevent her giggling from ruining the show.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“While there’s candy to be had! While there’s pockets left to pick!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He did a little spin and began using his magic to form shadowy hands like those in the swamp, which she swatted away from her pockets with a barely withheld shriek - half of laughter, half of shock.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“While there’s grannies left to trip down the stairs! I’ll be there! I’ll be waiting ‘round the corner!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She barely had time to recover from her giggles, making Snatcher grin all the harder.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s a game, I’m glad I’m in it! ‘Cause there’s one born every minute!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Huh? One wha- ...oh! That jerk!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And it’s so easy when you’re evil! This is the life you see! The devil tips his hat to me!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His smile didn’t look very evil at all to her, though.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I do it all because I’m evil! And I do it all for free! Your tears are all the pay I’ll need!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He made another rude face, as if reading her mind.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I! pledge! My allegiance! To all things dark! And I promise on my damned soul!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His eyes were closed mock-solemnly, and she had a feeling that if his hands were free, he’d indeed be pledging, albeit with a grin on his face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“To do as I am told! Lord Beelzebub has never seen! A soldier quite like me! Not! Only does his job! but! does! it! hap-pil-y!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Snatcher was clearly having fun with his role as he sang his soul out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m the fear that keeps you awake! I’m the shadows on the wall! I’m the monsters they become! I’m the nightmare in your skull!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With each word, the shadows grew darker and stretched longer, even as the candles in his house flared brighter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m a dagger in your back! An extra turn upon the rack! I’m the quivering of your heart! A stabbing pain, a sudden start!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Even as her heart pounded, Hat Kid wore an ecstatic grin as she watched her BFF perform.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And it’s so easy when you’re evil! This is the life you see! The devil tips his hat to me!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Everyone around was captivated by the dramatic act in front of them, watching both the shadows and their master dance as the song reached its peak.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I do it all because I’m evil! And I do it all for free! Your tears are all the pay I’ll need!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hat Kids eyes shined as she watched him again lose himself in the song.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And I do it all for free! Your tears are all the pay I’ll ever need!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The shadows swirled beautifully.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And I do it all for free! Your tears are all the pay I’ll ever need!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And then they settled...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It gets so lonely being evil... What I’d do to see a smile... Even for a little while...”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The violin wavered again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And no one loves you when you’re evil...”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>What had started as a theatric tone took on a slightly desperate note.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m lying through my teeth!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Or maybe it was still part of the song, because Snatcher’s eyes popped open as he grinned teasingly at Hat Kid.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Your tears are all the company I need!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shadow hands spun her as the violin creaked. A short reprise was played before trailing off, as the hands let her go, dizzy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Still, she had enough wits about her to begin clapping, which caused a cascade of applause from all audience members possessing (pun intended) hands.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When she stabilized herself and looked up, Snatcher was blushing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The song fits him, no?</p></blockquote></div></div>
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